I am African American woman, dating Igbo man

by Neesha
(Baltimore MD)

He hasn't introduced me to his family after 2 yrs dating. We were in nursing school together. I have finished school he is still attending. He is 32 yrs old, I am 41. I have 3 children from previous marriage. He has met my family, mother children, everyone that means something to me.

I have only met his family in his church. They don't know who I am, they think we are just friends. This saddens me at times. He told me that everything must be done in an orderly fashion and that it is not time yet to meet his family even though he met mine.

He said that was my decision to do that and that he is not the same. I have been learning how to make Nigerian meals and desserts. I am doing everything I can think of to let him know I love him and will always be there. I don't know if he really wants to be with me.

I am confused. I wonder if he is embarrassed by me?? I am older and have children, but own a home and just graduated from Nursing School. I love him very much. I wonder if he does at times. Please help..

Comments for I am African American woman, dating Igbo man

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African American, Married to Nigeria
by: Watch Man

The only known problem with African men especially men from Nigeria is that they are often intimidated by a more successful female partner. Nigeria men are scared of walking down the aisle with a more successful women because we think they wouldn't accord us the necessary 'rights and respects' if they are not "eating from our palm" (sort of)

So I think he would come much around if he graduate and finds a decent job, then he would look like the man in charge when he introduces you to his people.

In Nigeria, it is very condescending to eat from the palm of a woman (being sponsored or sort of) and showing it off even when you love her doesn't pass you off as a real man

That is just my two cents, you may wanna hear from other people before you come to a conclusion

in response to African American woman, dating Igbo man
by: Neesha

Hello, and thank you. This helps alot. However, he does have a BS already, but is not using it because he found another desire which is nursing. He is working, actually very hard working at two jobs. Thank you, this has really helped me alot. It's difficult understanding his thoughts at times because I am used to dealing with American men. Thank you..

incredible
by: Anonymous

wooooooow

perfect
by: jeeze

Interesting story,
how did that really happened , well love might have made them loved each other, but is the love pure,
because there are previous stories about a man who married a white woman but was killed after five month of marriage.
so good luck

great news
by: cryme

This is great,it is one of the best news ever.
Nigerians are working
and that gives me joy and it really strengthen me to wish to do more than this, I thought most Nigerians abroad go through hell to find a decent job, well maybe I should leave that to another thread

The truth is, am dating a white girl aged 26 and our relationship is working fine and we had hope to get married soon

Response, I am a African American woman, dating Igbo man
by: Neesha

Thanks for the responses, the good and the bad ones. I know he loves me, he makes that clear in the way he treats my children and I. I am going to wait and be patient. He knew when he approached me that I was 9 years older and he didn't go running....and by the way, if we were to get married, both of us would be taking care of the expense. He works two jobs....that's to the person who mentioned I would pay for it.

bravo to the brave heart
by: ENEMIES

since that is your choice and his choice you got nothing to fear,
but the other fact is that,he hasnt taken you to see his parents, hmmm that signals troubles but dont lack faith, just lock up tight and do your best neesha

posting from canada
by: CM PUNK

holy shit.
omg this is weird, it is dead drop nonsense.but it is your choice and you live your life any how you want it. Love is like a tree planted by the rivers of waters. so i don't blame both of you, my only concern is why a man would want to stick with an older lady. but what can I say, it happens this days!

in response
by: Neesha

In my defense, I would also like to add that I am in great shape and I don't look 41, I have been told I look in my late 20's early 30's many times before. I am active and stay busy. So it's not like he is dating a hum drum overweight wrinkled up old lady!!...:) Your right, I can have any one, he can have any one, but I want him.

I am African American woman, dating Igbo man
by: Watch Man

For crying out loud, we are no longer in the eighteenth century. The world is changing, likewise culture, believe, patterns, people and a whole lot. I don't think it is right or decent to categories people by their age or past.

Different people are searching for partners with different kind of attitude and mojo, I don't mind sticking up with a pretty lady that is 15 years older if she is as matured as I want and would deliver to me the dividends of marriage.

My happiness comes first and most men have come to realize that too!

Personally, I dislike armature girls.

So allow every Man to make their own choices

For American Women That Are Dating Nigeria Men
by: Dave Anegbu

Hello Neesha,

Thanks for visiting our site. Here you find all information about Nigeria, the culture, clothing, religion, business and a whole lot.

Our pages on Making Nigeria Foods will definitely appeal to you, you can learn to make virtually all the known foods eaten in Nigeria, from jellof rice to fried rice, different kinds of soups, salads and don't forget to subscribe to the Nigeria Kitchen at the bottom of the pages if you want to perfect your knowledge at making Nigeria foods.

The Nigeria Kitchen is a community of white and blacks who are interested in making easy and simple Nigeria foods.

Here is more about - Nigerian Men for American Women Dating or Married To Nigeria or Igbo Men

in response to David
by: Neesha

Thank you! I will check the link out. I do my best in making dishes. Jollof rice, nigerian cake, chicken stew, and suya. I am about to attempt Fufu...

thank you Watch man
by: Neesha

I appreciate your comments! You speak the truth...

good news
by: truth

this is a good news,
i wish am the nigeria guy who have the priviledge to have someone like you,
neesha just hold on to your love even though he hasnt introduce you to his parents,just have the faith that fate will bring you guys together.
take care dear

love is the key of life
by: busta rhymes

hi neesha, am happy you choose to love a nigeria,and it will be a great favour to every nigeria guy who has the opportunity to have you,
even though you are older than him,love is the only fruit of life.
i wish you good luck in every step you take.

african america woman dating igbo man
by: pastor

jesus christ who dwells above heaven and make the earth his foot stool will make any body that will stop you from marrying him your foot stool.
this is a great news,i love to hear news fill with wonders of the almighty GOD.
neesha please be patient.

Marrying igbo man
by: Justices

Good lord this is the greatest news i have ever heard in my life, but the truth is try to make him love you more than ever,
igbo men are some times harsh but with the way i viewed your own situation,i realized that the love is flowing in your veins, it is not an easy task for a white woman to love an african man especially an igbo man,
but since you both loved each other according to the way god want it, all i will say is good luck to you dear
am really happy to read this post.

in response
by: Neesha

Hello,
to comment by "Justices", I am actually black not white. Thank you for the wonderful comment. Any clues on how to make him love me MORE as you stated??
to comment by "Pastor", I hope I can remain patient. That is exactly what he asked me to do, be patient...
to comment by "Busta Rhymes", thank you, very sweet of you!
to comment by "Truth", thank you to you also, he is very sweet. I love him much. I can't wait to meet his family on another level than just his friend from school.

I will continue to wait. We exercise together, laugh together and have had sad moments together. An Igbo man is a very proud man with a very strong EGO...I don't mind his ego, it's attractive. I had to let go of my ego because I was a single mom working taking care of my home. the both of us can not have an EGO...that won't work...so he wins..he gets to keep his. Mine had to go....it wasn't easy.

reply
by: justice

the only way to make an igbo man love you is to capture his heart, make sure you give him every thing he demands for, my joy is to see an happy family,
neesha try all your posible best to have him by your side, igbo men are wonderful to be with.
win him

response to Justice
by: Neesha

Thank you!! I will keep trying my best. He is worth it. I guess I have to get a little creative. He doesn't ask for much...so giving him what his heart desires shouldn't be hard.

update to my situation
by: Neesha

I was invited to a picnic where he played soccer. His friends were there and it was great! There were a few things I didn't like..but overall it was great...The food and music was wonderful. I also recently went shopping and made Yam porridge, he like it alot! I am pretty proud of myself...Next I am trying Ogbono soup...hope that turns out well.

He doesn't have the same concept of quality time as I do...when He has something to do, that comes first...no matter what...sometimes days go by before I see him. Sometimes a day or two without actually talking to him on the phone..sometimes it's just a text. I am trying to understand that he is doing alot and trying to accomplish alot.

I love him. I am trying to understand him. he is difficult to understand at times. He told me I need to try to understand him and stop trying to figure him out.

He loves me I know...that is only thing that is keeping me here...and ofcourse, I love him.

Foods For Nigerian Men
by: Peace Anegbu

If you are dating a Nigerian Man but not too familiar with Nigerian foods, try out our perfect Guide For making Nigerian Foods, you would love it. It includes both written and video guides

Igbo man
by: Giselle

Hi Neesha,

I am dating an Igbo guy also. I am six years older than him. I think it's good that he is not rushing to marry you since it shows that he is not just using you for citizenship reasons. Unlike my Igbo guy. I have happen to come across a youtube video that outlined how you can know if a Nigerian man is serious. I hope it all works out. Love is main thrust of life. I am still in search of finding my King. Just curious as to why he is gone for 2 days at a time?

response to Giselle
by: Neesha

Hi, thanks for your comments! He is busy with work, errands for family, church mainly, then i fit in. Its hard at times but I'm getting used to it. He is trying to get his life and career straight now. I'm being patient.

response to Giselle
by: Neesha

Oh, also, congratulations! Good for you, igbo men are wonderful men. Mine is a citizen since 19 yrs old. And where is this you tube video?? also, I really think he can't introduce me yet until he has proven himself to be a man

HE IS YOURS
by: Nelly-Felix

You are just lucky to have an Igbo man. They are very industrious, determined and make the best husbands in Africa.

Over 70% of them are faithful and the few that flirt around never allow their wives to know.
They value their wives very greatly and that probably explains why he is being VERY PATIENT & CAREFUL!

He LOVES you but remember to take care of his stomach and make him totally beleive that he is in-charge.

just give him a genuine love.

in response to Nelly-Felix
by: Neesha

Hello, thank you for your comments. I am trying to be patient. We have had our ups and downs. He is still working a lot, not much time to see him. I know he loves me. I have increased my Nigerian meal adventures! I have added Egusi soup and Ogbono soup, both turned out wonderful!
I give him the respect of being the man in our relationship. I am working as a R.N. he is completing his now. I am just seeing this biological clock click by. I will be 42 this year.. Thanks again for your comments.

Nigerian men
by: Anonymous

Another reason why he is hesitant for you to meet his family is because you have children. Most Nigerian men won't bring a women home that has children because of what his mother would say. But my dear just keep it in prayer.

FROM UK
by: Girl

ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS PEOPLE ARE THE BEST PEOPLE TO BE WITH,BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT MOST DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN DEEP LOVE WITH WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE KNOWING THEM.STILL LOVE HIM YOU WILL NEVER LOOSE BY BEEN WITH THEM .I LOVE THEM MYSELF

I am African American woman dating an Igbo man
by: Anonymous

My dear, been in the same situation. The fact that I had 3 kids stood in the way. His family would not accept him marrying a woman who already has kids. He won't say it but that's the fact. The Igbo man will not go against his family's decision. Let him go, you'll find that right one for you. The earlier the better. I spent over 5 years waiting.

African American Women dating African Man
by: Oshodin05

I've dated a few African men before I married one. Dating was ok but I gave my heart to one and he broke it. I gave it another try then married a Nigerian who left me moved away and is living his life with a whole new family. Sad part he won't divorce me after I have asked for two years now. Some Nigerians do want to do right but BEWARE of the ones who fashion themselves after the American playa.

response to my post
by: Neesha

this is for GIRL in UK:He really doesn't care that I have children, he even wants me to bring him to his church with me but I have a home church. His parents attend his church, so they would know I have children and I talk about them all the time to his church family members.
this is for anonymous: I am sorry that it didn't work for you because you had children and I'm sorry you waited 5 yrs...I have waited 3 so far. I think I'm done
this is for Oshodin05: I'm sorry that you met such a deceitful man. Igbo or American...not good! I hope your heart is healing. I hope you can let your heart open to someone again.
Thank you guys for responding!!

Users
by: Terryce

I beg of please don't fall for that all lies Igbo men are users I know I was in same boat had 3 kids Married this man I got my tubes untied for him had a child an he got his citizenship an left me if you have to be a secret something not right if you can't figure out if he loves you something's not right get out of that relationship love your self focus on you an your kids feel good about you help yourself an your kids he's going to hurt you he's using you he don't love you this is not love they on want citizenship please listen to me .

Just know the culture before you settle in
by: Tawny

I was married to a Nigerian from Abujah (not sure I spelled that correctly) and after over ten years of marriage, I discovered he had been having affairs throughout our marriage. When I discovered this information, he told me, "I'm not gonna let the wind blow up my skirt." That's the first time I'd heard that phrase, but anyway, he became insensitive and neglectful to the extent that it lead to our divorce. I am Black American and I say Black American because I identify with where my parents and I were born and we were born here in America. I say Black because that is the group that my family has come to identify with. My culture doesn't support multiple lovers or children by different females at least not legally. All I'm saying is study the culture, know what the expectations are before things become too serious to back out and hopefully you won't have to. Be prepared that even though it may seem he prefers a monogamous relationship, he may later change his mind. Talk about it and look out for sudden changes in his patter of behavior.

response to Terryce and Tawny
by: Neesha

Terryce: I'm very sorry he hurt you so badly. For any man to do is horrible...not all Igbo's do that. I've seen my share of honest Igbo men. We have to be careful and patient when these men come our way to entice us to date them or be there lady.
Tawny: I've studied the culture pretty well I think. They can be stubborn. My guy has his citizenship so not an issue for us. Its the time he spends with me that drives me crazy. And when his business, errands, favors, etc are done...then he comes to me. He has even been late for birthday dinner dates celebrations...both his and mine. I REALLY THINK I'M DONE WITH HIM...

RUNNN!!
by: Anonymous

Just RUNNN! Been there done that!!

be careful and watchful
by: Anonymous

Runn get out!!! I married man from same country, im american black female 30 yrs old. He met me when i was 21 in college he was 27. We dated, he confessed his love, claimed be christian had my whole family liking him. Then we got married the ugly truth surfaced. I got pregnant first time he was ok, second time he begged me abort it, told me he never truly loved me after 3 yr marriage mark he filed divorce on me while i was carrying his second child. Applied for green card then brought his WIFE from back home who i knew NOTHING about it. Now he and his wife live together in our once marital home, while im left struggling with two kids he doesn't see. We dated for year and half before marriage. I met his family, some flew here some live in the usa and not one revealed to me he had a wife. I had to see their past wedding photos on his Facebook after our divorce and all his family were there at their wedfing. I got used,abused and heartbroken. BE CAREFUL DEAR!

African America woman dating igbo man
by: Anan D

To the last poster, what you described was a high level of relationship fraud, I am really sorry that you have to go through all of that.

You had a very bad experience with a desperate Nigerian man, my guess is that he was feeding on you while the relationship lasted, I am really sorry.

Did he give any reason for the break up? You said he was 27 when you met him, here in Nigeria it is hard to find a man that is married at 27.

Maybe, you were simply engrossed in love that you forgot to notice when something else was going on. It is not your fault dear.

Despite your experience, you need to know that there are still descent Nigerian men out there, the problem with most of them is adapting to the way and style of the western world. We love our women because they are very obedient and SUBMISSIVE.

no love here
by: Anonymous

run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!they love their own people...

Check people you date
by: Trish

I am an american woman. I experienced the constant abuse and cheating but it wasn't with a nigerian. It was with a guy from east africa. He gave me an incurable disease. It's NOT hiv or aids. At the time I was in complete shock. I went through withdrawal, depression, and (I told my counselor this, my own family/friends do not know) but... I tried to overdose. This was six years ago. I am at a much better place in life, but I have to live with the HSV disease for the rest of my life. I'm only 28. Ladies not all are alike. Just get to know the guy very well and learn the culture. Get to know any guy very well doesn't matter where he comes from. I have a cousin who was given the HIV virus from a guy she was dating and he is from the united states, both African Americans in their early thirties. He was cheating. Be careful with anyone now days this goes to both men and women, Pray ask God for guidance. I was never promiscuous, wild, or anything. I just ended up with the wrong dude.

Dating an Igbo man
by: Anonymous

I have been married to an Igbo man for 25 years. We dated for 2 yrs. I can tell you that Normally they do not marry women with children. He may like you or even love you but his culture goes deep. You need to read on Nigerian culture. African culture is very strong good or bad. I wish I had read about Nigerian culture before thinking about accepting to date or marring my husband. I believe my husband feels he should have married someone he had more in common. Although things could have been just as hard because Nigerian women are changing. My heart goes out to you because by now his family should know who you are. The signs are not good. Move on, time waits for no one.

Love Honestly
by: Vira M

Hello, I am a black american middle age woman and I have been in love with a Nigerian man for over 2 years and a half now. He has been the center of my life and is surely my hero. He makes my life complete and I believe he is my destiny. In the beginning of our relationship, he didn't know whether to trust me and I him, but we chanced our hearts to eachother and I still wait for the day and hour we are together forever. I have heard so many negative things about you guys and I just wanna say, no matter what, if you are in love with someone in another country or not, just love honestly and watch your love grow tremendously. You will never regret doing things together and for eachother the right way. If it isn't TRUE LOVE, then it will not last. Don't make it hard for someone else to accomplish true love because of your wrong actions. Experience it for yourself and help it spread abroad like me and my TRUE NIGERIAN LOVE. I hope and wish to soon visit your country to show who I am that could help change negative lives into positive lives. I love people and has loved Africa from a child. Take heed to my saying and Love Honestly. We all deserve an everlasting true love. SMILE

To Vira the previous commenter
by: Anonymous

Come back and tell us your story AFTER your Nigerian man marries you and obtains citizenship. You have wool over your eyes and can't see the forest from the trees. I guarantee you your attitude will change and you will live to regret it. They DO NOT love or like black American women, they do not even like black Americans period. I have been around all people from different countries in Africa, grew up around them and I have heard there conversations and them talk among themselves. The relationships they encounter with Americans, white or black are all for profit, whether it be for a financial gain or citizenship. They target people that are vulnerable, like what they consider unattractive, but will lie and say they are attracted to... For example women that are overweight, ugly, older or young women with little children, broke, with some kind of low self esteem. I have heard African men talk about their own American wives among their friends in private. In their language calling them fat, ugly and lazy sitting around laughing, then go home to these American wives. After sometime the African men divorce the American wives and go get women from their own country and make them legal in the USA. They DO NOT like blacks in America or consider them equal. They associate themselves more with their own or people similar with their culture like the black West Indians/Caribbean people. They also associate more with whites in the USA, but some do not trust whites. But still they would hold a white person as a friend more than they would a black American. I have family from east and west Africa. I know these things. I have seen fraud from African men with the marriage thing in my own family so many times.

to anonymous who said be watchful and carefule
by: Neesha in response

I am sooooo very sorry this happened to you. Some people are just bad people. It doesn't matter where they are from....Nigeria or wherever. I have met my share of evil and wicked men here in America. It's a shame but I hope you don't put all Nigerian men in the same bucket. They are not all the same even by just saying Nigerian...there are Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, Edo...etc..I have found all are different in their own way..Not necessarily good or bad...just different.

to anonymous who said be watchful and carefule
by: Neesha in response

I am sooooo very sorry this happened to you. Some people are just bad people. It doesn't matter where they are from....Nigeria or wherever. I have met my share of evil and wicked men here in America. It's a shame but I hope you don't put all Nigerian men in the same bucket. They are not all the same even by just saying Nigerian...there are Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, Edo...etc..I have found all are different in their own way..Not necessarily good or bad...just different.

In response to Trish
by: Neesha

I am glad my original post is getting folks to talk about dating and love issues. I just wanted to say to you that your disease doesn't define who you are. I am very glad that you are recovering and I hope you don't try to take your life again. That evil man is not worth it. You have a life to live here on earth and make it count! Enjoy your life. Educate others and young children about your experiences. Hopefully you can do this without putting down an entire Nigerian culture. They are not all the same....I am still hanging in there with my love. I still love him much! He loves me too.

in response to Anonymous married for 25 years
by: Neesha

Hello, This is a great story. Obviously you both love each other. I hope to say that I have been married for 25 yrs soon...I am willing to understand his culture like he is mine. Actually he is at an advantage because he knows both well. He has lived here in American since he was a teenager. I am the one getting to know his culture. He is very sweet. He shows his love in a different kind of way. But when he shows me I know. He wants to protect me, ask how my health is, take me to important doctor visits, fixes things at my house or will try, haha!! He may not have time every single day to sit and hang out with me, but I'm okay with that now. He has proven that he loves me in his own way...not by giving me flowers etc...but by being there for me when I need him..I know the culture pretty well. I am sure there are things I will never understand completely but I will have to accept if I love him and want to be with him. thanks for responding..

in response to Vira and her responder
by: Neesha

Wow, I am glad you found true love. If it wasn't meant to be it won't be. I don't believe we can live in fear, it's not good! Enjoy the love you have for each other. All Nigerians are not wicked and they don't all hate Black americans! I refuse to believe this. There are some, maybe many but not ALL Nigerians. That's a huge sterotype. I don't raise my children to think this way. Everyone is a separate soul and individual. Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves...everyone! For the person that responded so negatively, I am sorry that you are surrounded by such evil and wicked people. It sound like you are not the same...stay that way please don't spread evil and hate

African AmericaWoman dating lgbo man
by: Anonymousfelix

MY,DEAR dont wast your time,he is not going to marry u. My quest is 1, u said u have 3kids is it from on man,2, if the man said i do can u have a baby, 3 how come none of this man marry u.real Igbo man dont want drama,no matter,what u cook is not going to work .i am telling u the truth bcs i am an Igbo man,thank u.

response to anonymous Felix
by: Neesha

You are rude. 1- none of your business 2-none of your business 3- I am divorced, what makes you think I wasn't married? I'll be sure to send you an invitation to our wedding.. Not all Igbo men are like yourself. I definitely wouldn't want you with that attitude. I am no slump, I look great for my age and I'm a nurse handling my business. And he loves my Nigerian meals...thank you

to neesha
by: anon

I very sorry but he(felix) the commenter before you respond is saying you the truth. This is how we Igbo men really do feel about the black americas woman. My family disown me if I was marry a black american. No matter her education or cooking. In our culture it is taught to us at very young age to marry within our own tribe. Our family honor the Igbo woman in our culture. This man not reveal his true self as of yet and may be he just using you, maybe for sex. Right now you no see it, because love is blind. Atleast when he does reveal himself, you can say people here told you before hand in this forum.

My opinion
by: LaMonica

Hi, I am new to this forum, found this headline by doing a google search. What does being a nurse and being able to cook have anything to do with keeping a Nigerian Igbo man? My first cousin was married 4 years to an Igbo man. I just learned of her split a week ago, after hearing some family members talking about it. She just moved back in with her parents 4 weeks ago. She is from Texas and husband is Igbo Nigerian man. She is an occupational therapist and her husband a RN. They met in college here, she graduated a year before him. She found out recently he was cheating on her with a woman from his country. A woman that just flew here in the beginning of last year, that is attending the local college here. My cousin's in laws are also here in the states. The in laws were busy trying to hook the husband up with women from their country behind my cousin's back. MY cousin is a smart, beautiful, intelligent, clean soft spoken woman. A christian young lady who comes from a church going family. She can cook her butt off too.... spent her times cooking, doing things for the husband. I was shocked to learn of her divorce because she seemed so happy and so did he! You never know what goes on behind closed doors. It shocked our family. I feel sorry for her because she is quiet and never bother anybody, have no kids and is approaching 30. She is not even quite out of her twenties yet. She is 29. Now she has to start over, back living home with her mom and dad. The family was crazy about him, he attended church with her also, no signs of any troubles. I hope your man is not that way, but from doing a research on their culture, i learned online and from word of mouth this is not as shocking as I thought. This seems to be very common.

where i left off
by: LaMonica

I know my relative can make it on her own, what I meant by feeling sorry for her, I mean I feel sorry for what she is going through. I should have rephrased that. She makes a lot of money, but from what I know she left her job to move an hour away back in with her parents. I believe going through things like that can take a toll on a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. As of yet from what I know she is currently just at home, in the house not going anywhere after this recent split. I would advise Neesha to really pray about your situation before even considering marriage. I know our African American men can be bad too, but i never see them stoop that low by using American women marrying them and inviting them into their family, flying them cross country to meet family then dropping them like hot cakes. Wow! I don't know what type of black American men you have met, but surely there are some good ones out there. What places have you looked? I'm starting to feel sorry for you, heck I feel sorry for all black American women. Seems you are just not valued enough. I'm black myself but half white. I don't experience this.

I am African American woman, dating Igbo man
by: Fran6D

No two persons are the same irrespective of their tribe race or background.
I am an Igbo man in Nigeria. I have been married for nearly thirty years to an Igbo woman like me. But she is so domineering, minds her self and her family before marriage, and has negative influence on our three children.
This is one of her many disagreeable ways which she craftily covered from me and opened them gradually over the time.
I have only a married sister, so no extended family attachment. When I think back now, I only see deceits and lies. I will have to quite the marriage to be able to continue with life or die before my time. I may only marry again if I can regain confidence in women, though not from Igbo or Nigeria.
You see, Who the cap fits, let them wear it. No stereotypes. Situations and conscientious considerations are just the solution to life. I am happy for your future happiness God willing.

in response to Fran6D and Lamonica
by: Neesha

Thank you for sharing. I have always said that not all Nigerian men are the same. You have to even break it down to their tribe, where they grew up, here in the states or in Nigeria,How old they are, etc etc...I know a they have bad name because of the few deceitful men out there. They have made a bad name for the whole Nigerian country of men. I am sorry for what happened to your family Lamonica. Very sad. You only read the response. You mentioned what difference does it make that I am a nurse and that I cook nigerian meals. I was merely painting a picture of who I am. You would have to go back to my original post and not just base your comment off my last post. I am not desperate, I am in shape, fashionable, I look great for my age, I am loving and giving. I believe I'm in a better place now with understanding him. He shows his love differently. by being there for me when I need him and when we are together he gives me his undivided attention. Unless he gets a call from his parents, lol! He is already a US citizen, he wants to make sure it will last with me. I have a strong american culture of being an independent woman. Thinking that I don't "need" anyone. Well I don't need him but I "want" him. I only "need" my heavenly father. Fran6D I hope you find relief soon. You too will be happier one day... My original post was early 2012, so I have come a long way...He's been in my life for over 3 yrs now. I have met his parents many times at church, not introduced as girlfriend yet, but they are not stupid, they know something is up. They give me that look...lol

to Previous Commenter above me
by: LaMonica

I agree with you about mixing with your own kind, but do most Nigerians or African people look at all black americans as enemies? The reason I ask this is because I noticed many Africans, not just Nigerians, but many Africans have a serious dislike for black americans. I had a discussion about this with coworkers and family. We all came to this conclusion from witnessing the drama working with immigrants on the job and the negative situations some of my family members experienced. At least ten women in my family married African men. Nine of the women ended up divorced after the men became legal, but one couple has been married 27 years. Several men in my family are married to African women and have been 10 years plus going strong. Is this more of the men being dominant which is why the american women and african men don't last? I don't understand. I notice African women have a serious dislike for women that are not of their race. They even self hate by disliking their own, which is black americans. Your continent and it's people are fu*ked up individuals with an arrogant, high strung self righteous mentality. Nigerian men are no better than any other men and will cheat on your a$$ too. I know this because even the men on my job that have african wives, try to fu*k the caucasion women on my job. These men are Registered Nurses and supposedly educated.

Help!!!!!!
by: Anonymous

Can anyone tell me about the Bini's tribe. What
are they like or who they are. Please I need info.
Thanks

some words of advice from an Igbo man
by: Anonymous

1. It is very difficult if not amost impossible for an Igbo man to marry at age 27.The average minimum age is 30 or 31.
2. an Igbo man naturally will never submit to a woman or allow equality with his wife,e if he is doing it now, HE IS FAKE.
3. As per ur kids, if his mother or sisters or female relatives don't accept u, u will hav trouble so work on this.
4. If u are independent then change that and begin to depend on him for guidance and decisions or else, he will leave u one day. love doesn't cover that.
5. u must learn how to always cook for him, do all the house chores without complainin if u want him to marry u eventually or else he will leave one day.
6. ur kids are already a minus for u so u hav to be 100% submissive bcos igbos scarcely marry a divorced woman talkless of a woman wit kids
7. igbos live in extended families so if u are serious about marriage u MUST GET TO KNOW HIS FAMILY CIRCLE AND BLEND URSELF IN or when the chips are down, they wont be there for u. In Igbo community in Nigeria, before a man breaks up with his wife, he must hav the consent of his parents and siblings, if his parents are no longer there, his uncles etc. A man cant just leave a marriage, if they refuse and do not support him, he is glued to the woman

feelings
by: task

Im a similar situation with the exception that our relationship is very new. It haa only been a few months. Im divorced with two children. I am 34 and he is 23. I tried over and over to cut this off after finding out his age but he continues to pursuit me. I am a black American. I ask alot of questions about his culture. Family is very important to me and i dont want him to be put in a situation were he has to choose. I dont want me in my children to be hurt either. He nor i have really evolved our family members. He will not take no for a answer but deep in my heart i know this will be a journey. I have all the comments to you both negative and postive and a pray it work out. But for me the relationship is fresh and it was good to hear someone's in the same boat. Should i let it go. I know it will hurt him....?

Naija Men and African American Women
by: Anonymous

I am an African American woman who haa been with her Naija Man(Igbo) for 25 years. I would not have any other way. True it has not always been easy, but it is workable.I was a divorcee with one child. I have been to Naijaland and I love the family. I think they feel the same way about me, give or take a few LOL. It is always me who reminds my husband to communicate and assist financially those family members who are need( only if it is warranted) Many Nigerian women do not like American women because of negative social media and lack of opportunity for social interaction. But woman are the same all over the world with the same challenges. once you get to know one another, you can have a great relationship and learn a lot from your Naija sister. Actually, the one thing I appreciate about Naija ladies is their candidness, and practical approach towards life. If you are in a relationship with a Nigerian man, love him, let him take the lead especially publicly,accept and love his family,learn to cook and spoil him a little for a start. Good luck and God Bless

response to Task
by: Neesha

Omg! This is wonderful. I believe in love and I believe love can be deeper than culture. I love the Igbo man I am seeing and he loves me too! Nobody can convince me otherwise. He has been there many times for me when I needed him. You follow your heart and if your heart is saying you love him and he loves you... then go for it and put 100 percent of your love into him! I refuse to believe he has used me for sex for almist 4 yrs! You can find that anywhere! And he is very handsome..he can have whoever he wants but he wants me and I want him. Age difference is just a number. If both of you are looking past your age difference then no one else should care either. I wish you well. Always be truthful with him and let him be the boss

African American woman, dating Ibo or any African man
by: Anonymous

This is not working for the African man at all . Because of the children,they consider a free zone girl. A pure African man do not like trailer

Just run NOW
by: Noe

My Dear Sister i was in a very similar situation , the only difference is i meet his family and helped them so much that i lost myself one faithful day after so many trips and so much hard work he beat me to a pulp after i traveled to see him after I had a minor heart surgery , he never stop cheating i ignored it but when he beat me it was the last time he saw me and that was the last time i helped him and his family . He was in my life for 3years i did so much thinking he will one day join me but he never wanted that he was just using me . My Sister just no this he will NEVER accept you and his family will not care for you because your not of his tribe or culture SAVE YOURSELF , don't waste anymore time me and my husband are also the age of you both he beat me up then sent me an email divorcing me. Think my Sister if its 2years and you did not meet his family you just think. All the best Noe

I agree
by: Anonymous

I agree with Noe. Sooner or later he will eventually leave you....if he haven't left yet. They (african men) usually are 99% never genuine with black American women. I see and hear the same story all the time from black American women where they were used for citizenship or if the guy ALREADY has citizenship. ...then the American woman is used for sex. Sorry but eventually it will come time when your eyes are opened. Right now you are probably thinking you're in true love.

Just an advice
by: Ayo

My sister, its true that we nigerians dont like marrying a woman with kids, some may wants to, some may wants to use you, but some may pull out because of family pressures as mentioned above,. Dont mind what anybody says because our fates are different, and i want you to know that no spell caster can count little handful of sand in your palm. So pay no attention to that because only the Lord God almighty can give you your heart desire. My question is " have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour? I just wish to be offering you sincere advices that may make you successful in your quest for a happy home, God bless

HOW MY HIV WAS CURE BY TRUST NEW
by: Anonymous

my name is Lisa castellie from usa.DR.Trust is the only Dr who could ever get your HIV-AIDS cured with his healing spell, i have tried almost everything but i couldn't find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, i always spend alot to buy a HIV drugs from hospital and taking some several medications but no relieve, until one day i was just browsing on the internet when i come across a great post of !Michelle! who truly testify and said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed through the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime i really wonder why people called him Dr.Trust, i never knew it was all because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so i quickly contacted him, and he ask me some few questions and he said a thing i will never forget that anyone who contacted him is ! always getting his or her healing in just 2 days after doing all he ask you, so i was amazed all the time i heard that from him, so i did all things only to see that at the very day which he said i will be healed, all the strength that has left me before rush back and i becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so i went to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said i am HIV negative, i am very amazed and happy about the healing DR.Trust gave to me from the ancient part Africa, you can email him now for your own healing too at: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com, or call him on his cell phone number on :+2348156885231

Self Worthy First NEW
by: Anonymous

I was introduced to a Nigerian man to date a year ago. The signs were there but being the woman I am I played it for what it was worth. Remind you it took over five years for me to give it a try. We talked for a week before meeting. He cooked me dinner on first date. Convo was good. The following weekend, I spent the night. He tried to go down on me! Big no. I don't know you. He thought it was an expectation of American women. Red flag #1... fast forward. He's a liar and will do anything to get me and I take that for what it's worth. I stopped seeing him for months and decided to visit. Told me all I wanted to hear, so he thought. For one I don't want a relationship, commitment. Just a relaxing get away. He sold a boat load of lies nd all I can do is loose major respect. I can say don't get caught in feelings or good time. They are sneaky, liars and slick. Love self first.

Testifying on how i won my lottery with ololo spells. NEW
by: Engr Mari Simmons

I am Engr Mari Simmons, Am out to this website were you are reading this message for a purpose to tell all that need spells to solve any-kind of problem that you are having to kindly go send emails to Dr Ajayi the chief priest of Ololo spell casting temple. Before i proceed to tell you all that need spells to make the impossible possible in your life by bring back what you lost in your life, Dr Ajayi sometimes told me during when he was still processing and making my purpose fulfilled that before i will start to testify of his Goodness that i should tell all of you that the fact that he made me win $75,000.00 lottery don't restrict him from helping you that need his services for different problem like you are having problems with your ex-lover or wanting to have a good partner in your life and so many more. In-fact i will want to tell you all that there is no problem that dont have solution when you get to Ololo temple were Dr Ajayi is the chief priest. I don't have much to say to all of you but just to testify of this spell casting temple goodness and greatness and also to tell you all that need spell to get any problem solve to please don't be a scam victim to those scam spell casters, As before i meet with this temple i was scammed of almost $5500 dollars. But when i came here i narrated my problem and he ask me to provide some information's about myself to get the spell procedure started with, And told me that materials will be bought here and he demanded for some amount of money which i was afraid to send,Due to my past experience in hands of those scammers But he assured me that i should just relax my mind that i will win the lottery after all the necessary things has been done. I gathered courage and send the amount he requested. After that in the next 6 hours the spell was casted and he told me that i can now move on with going to win the lottery. Really i did it and set off to participate in the lottery and i was declared a winner of it all. So what am i trying to say in-essence is that you will not get scammed like other fake spell casters online if you send your emails to this emails address: ajayiololo@yahoo.com to get your spell casted.

Best solution here when it comes to getting your ex-lover back.. NEW
by: Mari Simmons

THESE PEOPLE ARE SCAMS AND THEIR TESTIMONIES OF SPELL CASTERS MUST BE IGNORED.
Dr Ajayi Ololo is the real spell caster. I tried all those people and I was really scammed until one day I came crying to my friend asking to help me with my confusion. She later told me about Dr Ajayi Ololo which my mind really urged me to give a try. She testified about how Dr Ajayi Ololo brought back her Ex-lover in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her story she gave me Dr Ajayi Ololo email address. I decided to give Dr Ololo a try though with doubt. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, Am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Ajayi Ololo is really a gifted man and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... Come to think of it I didn't pay much and all I have to do is tell the world about this wonderful man. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr Ajayi Ololo anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: ajayiololo@yahoo.com

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